About Us


The Eternal Flame was born of a devout reverence for The Golden Girls. Our piousness has always been unwavering, but a few years ago we realized that our altar needed glorification.

So, we said ten ‘Hail Dorothys,’ inhaled a cheesecake or three and fell to our knees in front of our calendar of the Men of Blanche's Boudoir. And lo, the angel of Sal Patrillo appeared before us! He brought tidings of great joy. We were called to create prayer candles of our Girls, depicted as saints in their righteous and holy forms. 

We popped a bottle of Original Gin, anointed our burning hearts and behold, the immaculate beatification of saints Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia became manifest. We saw that it was good.

We worked for six days and six nights. Then we rested. Ate a bunch more cheesecake. 

On the eighth day, hark! Other disciples appeared, having traveled for forty days and forty nights toward the hallowed glow of our sacred altar. It seemed we were not the only worshippers of the Body of Blanche and the Wicker Purse of Sophia. We blessed our fellow followers, opened our glory holes and sang in exaltation.

And so we saw the light. It became clear that saints were all around us, and though they be unauthorized by the church, they inspire worship and adoration in the burning hearts of true devotees.

They are false idols for true worship.

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